As a professional dominatrix of 15 years who has travelled and lived all over the world, I have come into contact with thousands of different people from all cultures and walks of life. Because of the close intimate connection I make with the people that come to see me, they open up to me, they share their secrets, their worries and fears, their dreams and desires, sometimes they seek my advice, sometimes they just want an ear to listen, sometimes they are seeking solutions to problems.   

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Sometimes people turn up to a session wracked with nerves from fear, lack of confidence, or even feelings of guilt and shame, and my job is to help them work through that and make peace with themselves and their issues before they are even ready to engage in anything physical. Many people don't realise that there is a need for a good understanding of psychology in order to do this job, it requires a delicate touch when dealing with people's vulnerabilities and this is a skill that is developed over time and with much practice and experience.

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I have dedicated my entire adult life to the pursuit of knowledge when it comes to human sexuality, and that combined with my experience of listening to and helping hundreds of real people through my sessions means there is very little I don't know about sex and relationships these days (at least in terms of what is possible to truly know!), as I mentioned in my bio I am also studying psycho-sexual therapy to deepen that knowledge further. 

 

One of the most important things that I have learnt during all this time is that when it comes to sexual education we have been cheated, and in a huge way. It amazes me to continually see how little people really know about their own bodies and sex in general, things that to me seem so essential! We have been spoon fed only that which applies to a societal ideal of what is acceptable and what is not, we have been given an extremely narrow view of sexuality by our predecessors based on misguided morality rather than the true nature and capability of the human sexual experience, and that same misguided morality has even hindered scientific knowledge and progress in the field of human sexuality. We know less about sex than any of the other bodily functions.

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For me, getting into BDSM and learning about sexuality, was like I had passed my life being convinced by society that if I jumped off a building I would die, but then accidentally discovering that actually I can fly, and so can everybody else... and this is what is happening in sexual and relationship education today. When you think about it that's actually a tragedy, modern sexuality is a minefield in which we are bombarded with confusing sexual messages from all directions every single day, messages that are thrown at us without meaning or context and that we are left to interpret in any which way we choose, and then we wonder why we are having to deal with 'rape culture' , why there are more and more instances of crossed boundaries in teen relationships leading to damaging criminal charges, and why there is a continual increase in demand for help with sexual issues.

 

It begs the question, when we are given so little to work with and learn from, is it any wonder that we are getting sex so wrong?

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Biologically speaking sex is the most important thing in our lives, we are designed to feel the most possible enjoyment from it, to be curious about it, to want to experiment with and stay interested in it, because it is through sex that we perform the must vital function in sustaining our race, we create life! We are literally programmed to think about, want to do, and push the boundaries with sex all the time so that we can sustain a healthy interest and libido throughout our sexual lifetime in order to procreate as much as possible. We have all gotten bored of sex with a partner at some point in our lives, and the pervert inside us is a biological function that actually exists for a real purpose - to counteract those feelings of boredom and encourage us to keep breeding!

We are continually told that our sexual desires are immoral, or depraved, or unhealthy, and yet they are an important function in the propagation of the human race! 

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So why would you continue to ignore or deny the most essential component of the human experience? Why would you let something like a lack of education get in the way of discovering the depths of pleasure that you are truly capable of? We owe it to ourselves to take responsibility for our own sexual journey and take back control of our pleasure. 

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