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Bristol Mistress UK South West / Tours - Derby Birmingham London Roma
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Advice For Your First Ever Session: What To Expect & How To Be Prepared

March 11, 2019

I have worked as a professional Mistress for over 16 years now and in that time it has been my great pleasure to conduct the very first session of thousands of subs, providing a fun and relaxed atmosphere in which my subs can safely explore and confront their darkest fantasies for the first time is something I have become specialised in and it continues to be a pleasure to help you all discover yourselves and your true potential for pleasure through kinks, fetishes and servitude. 


That said, it still surprises me to receive messages everyday from new candidates requesting a session whilst admitting they know very little about it, thus ensues the usual list of questions of what is involved, what will happen, will it hurt, etc and it is really clear that these people actually have no idea what they are asking to be involved in. So while I am always happy to session with a new person, it is really important that you as the client, have done your research properly and have clearly established your own personal boundaries so that you are in a position to give fully informed consent. "You can do anything you want to me" does not count as informed consent when anything I want could involve psychological humiliation, physical torture that could involve bleeding and/or leave marks or permanent scarring, or any number of very physically invasive practices.


So if you have never had a session before and are thinking about making a booking, here are some things you should know before contacting me for a booking. 


Disclaimer: The following is my professional opinion only and what is required to make an appointment with me, there are no set 'industry standards' as every provider has their own way of doing things, It is always up to you to find out what you can about the provider you are contacting.




 Before you even think about contacting a Mistress, you need to know yourself.


The practices on offer by Mistresses around the world are vast and varied, from role play to extreme bondage, humiliation and fetishes, not every Mistress offers the same things and not every sub likes the same things. So while you may be titillated by some pornography you saw or some stylised fetish images of glorious Dommes in their shiny latex, it's important to remember if you meet this person she will do unusual stuff to your body and you should be mentally prepared for that.

Take time having a good look at the practices offered by different Mistresses, see which ones appeal to you, watch some related porn and see if watching this practice really excites you, and more importantly use this opportunity to establish what is not acceptable to you, what your hard limits are.


Now in my experience these limits we set ourselves are often subject to change, over time our tastes evolve, we become more comfortable with certain things that lead us into others we hadn't previously considered, sometimes just playing with the right person can tempt us into things we had implicitly ruled out before, but if you don't know what your boundaries and limits are right now in this moment that you are about to play, your Dominant cannot be expected to respect what you yourself are unable to know or communicate, and this is not a consensual situation.


Yes, We are Dominants and we ''do what we want'', but there is still reciprocal respect for our subs and what they are comfortable with, you set your basic interests and limitations and we guide the sessions within those lines, this is supposed to be an enjoyable and fulfilling experience for both the Dominant and the submissive! When we're talking about your first session most of us wouldn't want to do something that would terrorise or traumatise you and prevent you from enjoying submission again, but we're not mind readers and you need to give some information about your interests and limits to give us a starting point without leading you down an unsuitable path for you.


Once you know what you want, get to know what you're chosen Mistress wants.


Now that you know what practices are suitable for you at this stage of your experience, you need to spend some time getting to know the Mistress you want to contact. I mentioned in my disclaimer that there aren't really any industry standards, but you can pretty much guarantee that most Mistresses will appreciate it if you spend a moment on their site first to double check that She provides the services you are interested in, and also to take a look at her rules page and preferred method of contact, most rule pages can give you some idea of how you should conduct yourself in her sessions and what you can expect from her. Informing yourself of the essential information your chosen Mistress has taken the time to provide is considered best form from a new candidate.


When you're ready to contact a Mistress, be prepared and do not waste her time.